Trinity [18+] A cinquain..... |
I found your poem in your portfolio. I'm reviewing it for the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 's "Over the Rainbow POWER Raid!" . I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this review helpful. The following is merely my opinion of your writing so please make use only of what you feel is relevant to your vision and ignore the rest. General Comments - To me, poetry is music composed with words rather than notes. Words are sounds whether spoken aloud or read from a page because you hear them inside your head. But also, the words in a poem should convey a definite mood, emotion, image, or tell a story. With structured poetry, there is a defined rhythm attained through the strict number of syllables for each line. In this case, the author has chosen a cinquain for his vehicle of expression. The title and the theme of the poem match perfectly. It is a comparison between the habits of certain species of birds and humans - aspects of life we have in common. A simple parallel, but effective nonetheless The syllable count per line requirements of the cinquain style has been met perfectly, so no faults for technique. Word choice and aethetics - Sparrows - flit the high void. Sparrows are small birds and flit is a small, light word which conveys the quick beat of small wings. I like the fact it is a singular staccato note in an otherwise legato or smooth-sounding string of words. Ravens conjure rainbows - good alliteration. Also, I love the image it creates in my mind. Swans abide love life-long. These three; like us - again good alliteration and the initial S of the swans is so satisfyingly reflected in the S of us at the end. All in all your poem, in my opinion, is a wonderful example of the cinquain form. Thank you for sharing your poem. Keep writing and have fun! A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Happy Holiday Member to Member Review Encouraging the pursuit of excellence
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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