An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?

Good, clear, use of the prompt in this essay that focuses on, what amounts to, the birth of children's rights in the UK from being liberated from the 19th Century work force, by education and labour acts. The reader is then led into examining similar issues that still affect children in today's Britain. I was very pleased to see footnotes being used. These told me that research had taken place in creating the essay, as well as allowing me access to further information on the subject, should I wish to dig deeper. The only potential issue that arose from this, was that I sometimes wondered if the inclusion of the links themselves absolved the essayist from deeper exploration of discussion/debate within the essay itself. One example was the deviation from historical child labour issues in the workplace, to the introduction of child trafficking, which didn't seem to be fully linked or explored within the rest of the context of the essay.


What are my favourite parts?

Your flow. Your style. Your 'voice'. Honestly, I felt like you were talking to me, as if you were in the room, and yet the overall tone was not too informal. The structure was clear, thoughtful and moved purposefully through the points you wanted to address. You seem to have a natural, editorial tone and voice, perfect for essays and articles. I hope to read more, so you really must write more. Please. A real pleasure


What are my suggestions?

You had the option for a much greater word count--don't get me wrong, sometimes you only need the amount of words you need, but in this case, I think you could have expanded on some of your ideas in a bit more depth. In places, it felt like a really good first draft, more than a complete essay.

It can be helpful to distinguish literary titles by using italics or inverted commas.

Style can be a very subjective thing, but I personally prefer a 'which' to a 'that' in a subordinate clause:
Yes, there is still child poverty in this country, that is perhaps not being addressed as it should.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

You responded to this review 01/03/2017 @ 10:03am EST

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