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 Review #4289068 |
| Hi Lostwordsmith  , I am Lorraine and I am reviewing your piece "Invalid Item"  in affiliation with "The Rockin' Reviewers" .Title/Brief Description/Genres: Your title is great because it doesn't give away exactly what you're talking about. In such a short poem, each word chosen, even the title is important, and you've chosen well here. I feel like you've missed out on making a brief description that is as great as the poem and title. You say it's a poem, when anyone who is browsing will know, as you've chosen the "Poetry" option for your static item, so it's redundant to say that again. You also describe the form. It may be more beneficial to describe that in the item itself, maybe with a link to more information, so anybody who isn't sure what a "Than-Bauk" poem is can easily reference some information. Your genres are well-chosen to reflect the subject of your work. First Impression: A short but good poem, that great for a quick read. The use of emoticons and the dark brown colour work really well for this poem to highlight the coffee-theme, without ever explicitly saying "coffee".  Flow/Form: As you mention, this is a Than-Bauk poem. I admit to being completely clueless about this form. I looked it up, and as I understand it it's a form that has three lines of four syllables, or at least that's the basics of it. It also has a descending rhyme. You seem to have ticked all of these boxes, and created an enjoyable poem out of it. The rhyme makes it so the poem flows wonderfully, and rolls of the tongue when read aloud. Word Choice: In such a short poem, word choice is important. Even more so in a poem where there's a rhyme on each line. You've done well here, and I love the asymmetry between the "liquid gold" and "old tin cup". In just 10 words, you've managed to create the image of a perfect coffee in my head. Great job! Spelling/Grammar: No errors spotted here! Closing Thoughts: Thanks for the entertaining read. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, and I could definitely use a coffee now. I'm off to make one.  Hope to stop by again soon and review some of your other work! Oh, and an early happy birthday!  Lorraine  Racing at "Invalid Item" ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were going to do anyway! Robert Downey Jr.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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