\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4304680
Review #4304680
Viewing a review of:
Image Protector
See You in the Morning, Mom! Open in new Window. [E]
The loss of my loving mother to her body's death is both painful and reassuring.
by Jay O'Toole Author Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hey, Jay O'Toole Author Icon. I am here to review your item on behalf of I Write group.Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.

*Snow1* *Tear* *Snow1*
Imagery Created

The poem captures the pain of loss quite well. I could feel the mother had enjoyed her life and was worried about passing away. I could even feel the pain in the reassurances you gave. It is quite an emotional poem.


*Snow1**Tear* *Snow1*
Language, grammar and form

I stumbled at some of the words, and I think that is because I am not Christian and you are referring to some religious books/stories. Yet I do think you need to take a look at the following sentences:
i) Our efforts need not grope. : I don't think the grope is the right word here. That sentence came out quite weird while reading.

ii)our separation mend. : I think there is a helping verb missing here. You might need to crosscheck it with the previous sentence.


*Snow1* *Tear* *Snow1*
Favorites and Not-so-Favorites

I loved how you captured the emotion in the poem. It is well-done.


*Snow1* *Tear* *Snow1*
Other thoughts and suggestions

If this poem is true, I hope your mother is at peace now, wherever she is. Thanks for sharing this piece with us.


** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/28/2017 @ 2:59pm EST
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4304680