Hello, shaara

I'm offering you this review in celebration of Earth Day, which is marked on the 22^nd April every year. Thank you for being aware of our planet and the environment.

What I liked

The twin theme of nature and bullying in school is really well put across here. Any poem that aims to show kids bullying is wrong and that they shouldn't be ashamed of who they are, and in fact be proud, is awesome by default.

This poem has wonderfully strong structure with cool rhythm and rhyme.

Love the giraffe image!

What might need work

To me, it felt like somehow there was a quatrain missing between the second and current third, and that there should be four quatrains in total. You see, in your theme you have the giraffe in a normal school in the first two stanzas, so all the kids might make fun of him. But then in the third stanza, the giraffe is in a giraffe school with other giraffes. I feel you need a transitional stanza between that says "Hey, but what if giraffes went to special schools — ones where everybody was a giraffe". In that way, your pivotal third quatrain will emphasise the need for kids to treat each other equally, ie. it'll subconsciously suggest that all schools should be schools where everybody is perceived as "equal".

Thank you for sharing!

Best wishes,

Bob







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .