Hello, Jim Hall!

I'm offering you this review in celebration of Earth Day, which is marked on the 22^nd April every year, and on behalf of "The Earth Day Challenge" 

Thank you for being aware of our planet and the environment.

What I liked

What a wonderful modern myth somewhat reminiscent of the Ancient Greek ideas of Persephone leaving Hades once a year to visit Earth and her connection with spring and new growth in the ancient mind, though her husband was never Appollo or Helios. I love how you offer explanations for all the key elements of spring in a creation myth kinda way.

What might need work

Consider how you might bring some moral message into this, like maybe the couple had been up to no good, out spreading litter or something, but the sight of Earth's beauty on this day made them repent. Somehow the story feels incomplete without another layer of the onion added.

Watch out for passive or verbose language. For example "Soon, all the trees closest to her were full and the latecomers were forced" which could be expressed "Soon, all the trees closest filled and latecomers forced".

Thank you for sharing!

Best wishes,

Bob






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .