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Review #4318448
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Hi C.M. Dakota

My name is Ken and I'm pleased to read and comment on your work "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. on behalf of "Earth Day Challengers" Open in new Window..

*Flower1* First Impression/Thoughts:
Dark you say? Yes, very dark. *Smile* You've painted a picture of lost hope that I pray will never come to pass.

*Flower3* Creativity/Impact:
I think you captured the ultimate fear of those of us who worry, who protest, who work on behalf of this beautiful planet we live on.

*Flower4* Message/Theme:
*FacePalm* Uhhh, Earth Day? *Laugh* Seriously, you've captured the malaise that we seem to have, concerned about nature but not enough to make any meaningful changes. I think the last two verses seemed to change from nature to spiritual, offering a positive view of the end. If we destroy her creation, will we be accepted?

*Flower2* Technique/Technical Notes: I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. I encourage you to consider what I offer but always follow your instinct and heart. You are the poet.

*Vine1* Title: At first, I wasn't sure where this was going but it all made sense as I read your poem. I thought the title was perfect. The "teaser" line (or description *Smile*) offers an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see you used it to full advantage.

*Vine1* Grammar/Wording: Your language is well thought out to elicit and reinforce your message. No errors noted.

*Vine1* Form/Flow: This was written in Quatrains with an abcb rhyme. For me, the uneven meter made it read almost as free verse but nothing distracted from the message.

*Flower6* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* An interesting read even if the subject was our own destruction of the world. Your recognition of what the future holds comes through clearly and I found myself in total agreement if we don't make changes. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best for Earth Day 2017,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/23/2017 @ 4:45am EDT
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