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 Review #4318519 |
| Hi murphyco It's just me, Ken  , and I'm pleased to read and comment on your work "Invalid Item" on behalf of "Earth Day Challengers" . First Impression/Thoughts: You know I love the Limerick form  and a "limerick chain" only increases my enjoyment. Thoughtful, playful, and spot on! Great job. Creativity/Impact:I think you used this form to create an insightful commentary on recycling. Very creative.  Message/Theme: Uhhh, Earth Day? Seriously, you've tackled the issue of recycling - specifically the problem with plastics - in a creative and fun way. Technique/Technical Notes: I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. I encourage you to consider what I offer but always follow your instinct and heart. You are the poet. Title: I thought your choice of title was as creative as the poem itself. It's sure to get the attention of readers. The "teaser" line (or description  ) offers an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers.Not very creative but informative. Grammar/Wording: Your language is well thought out to reinforce your message. It offers a playfulness in tone while delivering a serious message. You might want to relook at verse 3 - "Leaving nothing on which fish can feed." Perhaps "fish will feed?" Just a small thought from a small mind Form/Flow: Okay - there's a lot of discussion about just what a limerick's form should be. The agreements seems to be the rhyme scheme and anapestic rhythm, which is created by many sets of double weakly-stressed syllables. In the end, you've presented a recognizable form and that's what matters. Overall Rating/Final Thoughts: An enjoyable and fun read even if the subject is a serious one. Your recognition of what plastics are doing to our world comes through clearly and I found myself in total agreement. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more. Keep writing! Wishing you all the best for Earth Day 2017, Ken
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You responded to this review 04/22/2017 @ 1:19pm EDT