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 Review #4319387 |
  |  | Wake Up!  [13+] The Earth needs us. It's not too late. (Form: Quatrains) An Earth Day Challenge Entry  |
| (4.5)   Happy Earth Day Ken!    Thanks for entering this lively expression into the Earth Day challenge! You really hit the nail on the head in your last line with potency indeed!  and not The issue is certainly debated a lot, even after all this time and study. It may not be responsible for the whole of earth changes but to deny it is a big part seems unconscious.  I like the underlying feeling in the work as you reveal how the news effects you and how the depression moves to a more potent stance at the end. A Call to act! There really is a lot of talk. Your exhortation in verse 4, after revealing the evidence in other verses is dramatic and I felt the impact. The Quatrain form is composed well with wonderful rhyme and steady flow that was a pleasure to read aloud. You did not indicate if you which syllable count you were using but I notice inconsistency in this area. You begin with an 8 count in verse 1 and shorter counts in the middle as if to speed the pace---weather, panic, and then back to an 8 count in the last two verses (but for the emphatic last line.) Perhaps within verses consistency would be better.  A quick read will show you and I know you already know this so I figure there is a poetic rationale.  It doesn't spoil the read or its impact! I was just surprised. The voice was authentic and the intent meaningful. The chosen images were illustrative and supported the point of view and amazement that one can deny the truth. Bringing in the concern for "kid's birthright" is a moving mortivator!   Thanks for Tweeting UP for Mother Earth! Light on the path as you write on! eyestar  "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/24/2017 @ 10:39pm EDT