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Review #4319536
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The Werewolf of Walmart Open in new Window. [GC]
Peter discovers love ... and love hurts. A Paranormal Romance Entry
by 🌕 HuntersMoon Author Icon
Rated: GC | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
PLOT -
Peter is tired of moving around and a little hopeful that he might eventually find a girlfriend. Working at the local Wal-Mart, he becomes intrigued by Brenda Sue and agrees to call her after work.

SETTING -
Good descriptions throughout that helped to move the story forward. You made it easy to see all that Peter was seeing and experiencing as he went about his day.

CHARACTERS -
Peter is a Werewolf, searching for a home and a girlfriend is something he's looking forward to having. Brenda Sue is engaged to her cousin but wants more Romance. The pair hit it off and decide to meet up later that night.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
“So,” he finally worked up the never - nerve to ask,

“What about him?” asked Brenda Sue, poking a - at Peter with a bright red painted toe.

THOUGHTS -
I really thought Peter was going to be set up and something bad was going to happen. Almost from the first paragraph, I expected that. It was a surprise ending and Harlan came to the rescue of his woman. I totally didn't see that coming. Good job with the story and good luck in the contest.

Lost in a haze of purple she stands alone

   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/25/2017 @ 9:55am EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4319536