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 Review #4319698 |
 | Acts of Green  [13+] 2,023,369,508 Acts of Green and Counting  |
| (4.5)| Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating It's me, Ken, and at last the shoe is on the other foot  . I'm pleased to read and comment on your work "Acts of Green" on behalf of "Earth Day Challengers" . First Impression/Thoughts: A nice Acrostic. My only issue is that you never define what "An Act of Green" is. I know, it should be obvious and for those who are sensitive to the issue of climate change, it is but for others ...? You did include a link but way at the bottom. Maybe consider using {x-link} for the word in the body of the poem.  Creativity/Impact:You listed this as "Experimental" and, to me, this was an Acrostic. I did not the subtle rhyme in verse one which I really liked. Regardless, I thought this was well done.  Message/Theme: Uhhh, Earth Day? Seriously, I think the message of restoring our Earth after the damage we've done is clear. Technique/Technical Notes: I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. I encourage you to consider what I offer but always follow your instinct and heart. You are the poet. Title: "Acts of Green" I immediately identified what this was about and it definitely caught my interest. It will surely catch the attention of other readers who share a like mind. The "teaser" line (or description *Smile*) offers an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I think yours added interest. Well done. Grammar/Wording: The words you chose were illustrative in nature and really called concrete images to mind. You used words that brought movement and stimulated more than visual but also added a movement to your poem. One consideration: the final line, "Now can have an affect the lives the next generation. seems to be missing a word. "... have an effect on the lives ..." Form/Flow: Written primarily as an Acrostic, I loved that you held complete thoughts within each line. Often, writers will shy away from that thinking the lines are too long. Excellent message and form. Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:  An enjoyable and fulfilling read even if the subject was our own indifference to what we're doing to the world. Your recognition that we can and must act is a call to arms for our planet and I found myself in total agreement. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more. Keep writing! Wishing you all the best for Earth Day 2017, Ken
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You responded to this review 04/25/2017 @ 2:29pm EDT