\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4347557
Review #4347557
Viewing a review of:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Creeper Of The Realm Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
This was funny and had be laughing toward the end as it was told of the witches lying on their backs with the pudding oozing. Good visual with those sentences as well.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
I liked that Susie got her way and a little payback at the same time.

PLOT~
Susie is taking a course in stirring the witch's pot. Being a Vegan, she finds it gross and appalling that they would throw a puppy into the cauldron to cook, not to mention all of the Reptilia already brewing.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~
Susie makes a bold decision with her Halloween pudding and takes matters into her own hands.

DIALOG~
The dialog was interesting, but dialog tags were missing and I wondered who Susie was talking to. By the things that two women said I was able to catch of glimpse of what Susie's actions were. Description and dialog tags help enhance the dialog itself.

TECHNICAL~
I think if you added the tags and more description as they had a conversation stirring that pot it would really make this a funny and scary story. Susie must have been turning up her nose at the smell of the animals in the pot. Possibly turning a little green when she talks about wanting to vomit. Just a few little things to enhance what you have. I did enjoy the story, and you got me to laugh!
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/07/2017 @ 11:21am EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4347557