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Review #4353253
Viewing a review of:
 I can still smell her hair Open in new Window. [13+]
A dream that just won't leave me
by Gloominati Araestrahta Author Icon
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Creeper Of The Realm Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
Just as it was getting good, it was all a dream. Great job pulling me into the story.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
That you took your time with this and didn't rush through the descriptions during the scene.

PLOT~
In a dream, he's holding her so close and see and feel everything happening to him. It's so real to him that the sensations and the smell of her hair linger even after he wakes.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
A man vividly dreams of a woman in his arms, holding her, touching her, and the smell of her hair that is consuming to him.

Nice job of comparing her hair to a babbling brook. That really put images in my mind and worked well as the story unfolded. You have great descriptions of her what her body feels like and how each and every touch ignites a reaction. Just getting into his thoughts turns up the heat in this story before he wakes and realizes it was all a dream. I liked that he was afraid to let go, worrying that she would leave if he did so. Too bad it was only a dream. Well done.

DIALOG~
His inner thoughts worked well in your short story, letting the reader catch a glimpse of how he feels about this woman.


House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
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