I noticed that you have an anniversary with WDC this month. Happy anniversary! A big thank you for your contributions that are part of what makes this a wonderful place.

I remember reading your story Evie a while back. It was a quite intriguing short story, which, especially after reading this, could make for an interesting longer works. It has the element of horror, but with a supernatural twist. One can't help but to like the characters, whether they are evil or good.

The hook
Interesting beginning. I had to giggle at the satire of the Christian God sitting back, drinking a cold beer. Then the short intro ends with an explanation that this was not exactly the truth, which encouraged me to read on to see how your imagination was going to expand on this.

Dialogue
Dialogue is done well. The reader can easily visualize what is going on between the angel and demon when they are working on David's psych. Then later, the relationship between the demon and angel are shown clearly through how they speak to each other. You also avoid the redundant "he said" and instead add the actions of the story and body language, which shows the story with more clarity.

Scenery
There wasn't tons of scenery described, but what was described is shown in the actions in the story. Being a short story, it was refreshing not to be distracted by long drawn out descriptions that had nothing to do with the plot.

Character development
For such a short write, there is tons of character development through the backstory in the beginning, dialogue, and body language. I really felt the story, especially when the conclusion to David's letter was shown.

Plot
Honestly, I could see that there was a history between the two, but the ending was still a surprise. You left plenty of hints without giving out the exact ending.

Final thoughts
This was an interesting story. I could see it being combined with the first Evie story and being expanded on.

Thanks for sharing your writing. I have enjoyed the read.













My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .