I noticed that you have an anniversary with WDC this month. Happy anniversary and thank you for your contributions that are part of what makes this a wonderful place.

There was so much diversity to choose from in your port, but horror is my favorite, so I figured I would see your offerings in that genre. This title of this particular story caught my eye. For such a short write, it is packed with excitement.


The hook
A friend that is published once told me that publishing companies often look at the first sentence. If it doesn't grab them, they don't read the rest. You begin by telling the reader that "it was a dark and stormy night." My suggestion is to remove that. The story is stronger without it. If you would like to express that it is dark, maybe show your character trying to find the moon, but it being hidden by the thundering clouds.

Character development
This is done well. The woman in this is realistic in her actions, especially when she rationalizes whether to go to the boat or her husband's life jacket. I like how you did not make her weak. She is strong, not giving up, even after the ocean has taken her husband.

Dialogue
The speech from the characters follows normal speech patterns, rather than being overly formal. You also add body language, rather than the redundant "she said" or "she responded".

Scenery
This is done particularly well, while being added into the actions of the story. The reader does feel those clashing tidal waves and the emergency of the situation.

Plot
It was pretty interesting. I am thinking that the monster was supposed to be real and not a metaphor for the ocean. Though, it is a little unclear. Maybe, if it is supposed to be an actual monster adding some clarity with hints of it somewhere in the story would help. Other than that, the story was very interesting and action packed. It had me on my toes anyhow.

Mechanics
In several areas there needs to be a comma before "but". Other than that, from my perceptions, there are no other grammatical issues.

Final thoughts
This was an action packed story that you penned here. I enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing y our writing with me.















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .