Hi michaelk2 ! I'm JS and I'm reviewing your item: " The Grind ". I'm reviewing it as part of my challenge at "a very Wodehouse challenge" .

Before I provide any critique, I'd like to point out that in order to provide consistent, fair reviews, my star rating are only based on objective items, such as plot, language used, grammar and spelling, etc. I provide my subjective opinion along the way, consisting of how I enjoyed the story and my overall feelings towards the piece. Please look at the entirety of my comments below, and use what you feel applies.

Rating

Objective star rating: 4.5

My Overall Impression

A well done, compact story. I find it nearly impossible to work within that particular limitation. I'm best severely limited (tweet or less), or at least given 1000 words. Anywhere between 100 and 1000 I struggle so I'm always impressed when people can both compress and expand a story like this. Great job!

Plot

I especially enjoyed Not knowing what the ending was throughout the piece, and the dry humour that went with the ending.

I did find some elements, such as the clock against the wall, that have been done before, but you've used them well and to your advantage. The ending, though, was very creative.

Characterization

I especially enjoyed Getting a good impression of what Paul's lifestyle was like within such a small word limit. I like that the story left me with a few unresolved questions - which is something I don't always enjoy with a story. Is he still able to do a good job when he's hungover, or do things score lower or taste funny? What does he drink when he's out on the weekends? Liquor? Is he sick of beer by then? So it's fun little story that the reader has the opportunity to keep moving along with.


Setting and Dialogue

I especially enjoyed The single sentence describing the cab ride was well done, and knowing very well what the hangover headache is like, it must have been truly excruciating! I wasn't entirely sure people still used clocks, as even I, being old, use my phone. Even so, it didn't affect the enjoyment of the story in any way.

Spelling, grammar and sentence structure

I especially enjoyed "ate four Tylenol for breakfast". I'd never thought of it that way, but I've certainly done it

What I found:

1.          The first paragraph          

         I know that the space limitation creates difficulties in sentence structure, yet I found the first sentences to be too abrupt. There's nothing wrong with them, and I'm sure you intended to sound a specific way, but as a reader they didn't sit together as well as they could have.


Final Thoughts:

I hope I’ve given you some constructive ideas to work with. I did enjoy this (very!) short story a lot. Thank you for sharing your work with us.

If you have any questions, please email me. If you make changes and would like me to read it again, I am always happy to do so. Above all, keep writing.

JS