Hi ! I'm JS, and I'm reviewing your item: " Starbucks ". I'm reviewing as part of my challenge at "a very Wodehouse challenge" .

Before I provide any critique, I'd like to point out that in order to provide consistent, fair reviews, my star rating are only based on objective items, such as following form, language used, grammar and spelling, etc. I provide my subjective opinion along the way, consisting of how I enjoyed the poem and my overall feelings towards the piece. Please look at the entirety of my comments below, and use what you feel applies.

Rating

Objective star rating: 3.5


My Overall Impression


This was a fun topic to explore. Acrostic can be pretty difficult to build a poetic "story" from, and I think you've done a good job of expressing your enthusiam for visiting your first Starbucks! (I don't like Starbucks, but I'm Canadian and we have a really bizarre devotion to a chain called Tim Horton's).

Creativity, Concept, Theme and Use of Prompts* *if any prompt was mentioned

I especially enjoyed: Your choice of a regular, everday experience to explore in the poem. And I agree, kitchen coffee isnot the same as one already made for you.

In some areas, I found the following:

1.          It was pretty straightforward and blunt          

         This isn't truly a "flaw", so please don't take it that I dislike your stye. What I found is that as a reader, each sentence was entirely correct, but just felt like a statement unto it's own. I've read some of your other work, and I recognize that this is an older piece, so I'm certainly not saying this is indicative of your work as a whole.

Structure, Meter, Form, Rhythm and Flow

I especially enjoyed: The way you arranged the poem so it's not completely lined up.

I do find the lines a bit sharp and disconnected from each other, even though they're all about the same topic.

Language, Words, Grammar, Spelling, Length and Sharpness

I especially enjoyed: The use of plain language was consistent throughout the piece, and reinforced the joy in an everday activity without it becoming overly melodramatic. I also very much enjoyed the line "Understanding coffee lingo is fun" (I'm always amazed when people in Starbucks spit out a what is essentially a foreign language to me, then I get up there and say "uh...do you have, like, a large or something? do you make just plain coffee?")

I also like "kitchen coffee is not the same". It most certainly is not, and if I could afford it, I'd buy my coffee from Tim Horton's every single day. I settle for weekends instead.

In some areas, I found the following:

1.          I think the punctuation is part of the reason I get stuck with the flow          

         I believe the periods at the end of each sentence, as they cause a full stop of each line, is the reason the poem feels disconnected line to line. Removing those would make the reading flow a bit better.

Final Thoughts

I hope I’ve given you some constructive ideas to work with. I want to reiterate:

This is a fun little poem about an everday activity that isn't made overly melodramatic but still conveys your enthusiam about the visit
It's been a pleasure to surf through your portfolio and enjoy your work. Thank you for sharing it with us


If you have any questions, please email me. If you make changes and would like me to read it again, I am always happy to do so. Above all, keep writing.

JS