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Given: Feb 4, 2018 at 7:48am
Length: 1,064 Characters |
990 w/o WritingML
Hello and good morning. My name is Grateful Jess and I will be reviewing Childhood Innocence. Please remember these are only my opinions; feel free to take my suggestions with a grain of salt.
First Impressions:
I like the flow and imagery. It's not an exact rhyme, but I do like the rhythm and how to images dance to that rhythm.
Overall Thoughts:
You do have some great imagery, but I feel like you could have added more. There is some rhythm, but the poem only comes half alive for me. I believe you could add more movement to the children to add more life. I believe a few more stanzas with other types of childhood play or behaviour would do the trick. Also, add more rhythm, it's sing-songy now.
I didn't find any grammatical or mechanical issues, however as I always recommend to writers, it wouldn't hurt to go back and proofread your piece to make sure you are conveying everything you want to convey.
Rating: ***
Final Thoughts:
Keep writing and creating!
You responded to this review 02/09/2018 @ 12:32pm EST
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