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Review #4392776
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Trust Your Gut Open in new Window. [E]
Apologies to Percy and Mary Shelly (1/15/18 Flash Fiction Entry WINNER)
by Kimbug Author Icon
Review of Trust Your Gut  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Buenos dias, Kimbug!
As a lover of horror and everything dark, I thought this was great! And for such a short piece, it’s even better!
I like how you started it out so simple and innocent, only to suddenly throw the reader down a completely different right at the end! Twisted/surprise endings are also a favorite of mine, and you delivered with this!
The idea of a respected doctor doing unwarranted organ transplants is certainly spooky, and what’s even worse is that in this day age things like this could possibly be happening right under our noses!
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot a few tiny niggles (sorry to be so picky, but please know that I’m only trying to help):
‘As soon as I leave here, I'm taking it down.’ (you changed the tense of the story from past tense to present)
"So, is it still raining out there?" She asked. (she)
“...when I got here thirty minutes ago(.)" I replied. (should be a comma)
Otherwise, bravo! And telling it in the 1st person makes it just that much more personal!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kimbug, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. to get a feel of Writing.Com and introduce yourself to the community if you haven’t already!

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