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 Review #4393324 |
| (4.0)| Greetings, Dominic! This is a nice (and emotional) piece about the longing a person can have for somebody they haven't seen for awhile, and the protagonist's feelings are well shown as he puts his words on paper. The idea of having 'Chief' making his remark, albeit a somewhat wise one, was a nice touch. But it was the ending that made this shine as the writer suddenly realizes at the end of his letter that his love was right there standing behind him. A few suggestions: '...i woke up with a deep crave of her embrace' ('I'-there's a few other spots where this should be capitalized) '...only this time i was grown up men who could stand a ground.' ('only this time I was a grown-up man who could stand my ground') I think 'engulfment' should be 'fulfillment' Otherwise, good job. Kee ponw ritin gon, Dominic, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here! PS-You might want to get your biography set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite authors/books, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course. PPS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" to get a feel of Writing.Com and introduce yourself to the community!
PPPS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.
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You responded to this review 02/25/2018 @ 11:10am EST