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Review #4404702
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Hi, Gypsy!

I found your poem before mine in "I Write in 2018" Open in new Window.

It's certainly dark, so it's categorized appropriately.

I like the visual shape of the poem as well as the images you evoke right from the beginning.

There is so much power in your phrasing through most of the poem, that when I get to "As I trek throughout this existence of mine" it feels like a weak point. I think in part that is because of the earlier "I trace around my world."

I'm new to poetry, so forgive me if I'm overstepping here or breaking the rules of this particular kind of poem. I'm just a reader. Take or leave my comments as it suits you.

Below is slightly different arrangement of your lines that, to me at least, carries that same power through to the end of the poem.

As I walk my solitary path,
I am a pawn in my own,
twisted perceptions.
A life of total despair
where is the beauty in that?
Haunting shadows consume
me and my thoughts,
as I trek throughout
this existence of mine,
tittering on the edge of madness.
Insanity would be
a welcomed release.

Nicely done. Thank you for sharing your poem and good luck in the contest!

Gingerly Me
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/06/2018 @ 6:12pm EDT
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