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 Review #4405752 |
 | For Five Hundred  [18+] A game show contestant loses his temper in the throes of a 0 question.  |
| (4.5)| Hi, Kris! I found your item, "For Five Hundred" in today's Action/Adventure newsletter. I really enjoyed reading the story of a game show contestant who became hung up on what might have been a simple question for someone else. The dialog, internal and otherwise, was lively and believable. I like the way you used the physiological responses to convey emotions. I also really appreciate your choice of font size and spacing. Readers are scarce enough, no need to make them work so hard once they find you. For such a short story, your characters have plenty of depth. The piece was well written with regards to punctuation and grammar. I have no nitpicking to do. The only part you might consider revisiting is the first paragraph. It fits with the story, but doesn't seem to work as well with Eleanor's actions later on. I feel like the story would be just as strong without it, just jump right into the action. Thanks for sharing your story! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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You responded to this review 04/15/2018 @ 9:47pm EDT