Hi Jellyfish in Morocco ! I'm stopping by your port today to review your acrostic poem, "Flatline" in celebration of your SIXTH account anniversary month! Congratulations! I hope you are enjoying the WDC birthday celebrations around site as well!

This poem is so deserving of both its awardicons as well as the 2016 Quill win. Congratulations! I have to say, acrostic poems have never really done it for me. They always seem forced or just awkward, as if the writer is trying too hard. But not your poem. I could read this poem without even noticing it was an acrostic! The lines were perfectly metered and the sound of them when I read it aloud was very smooth. The rhymes were great as well! Heck! Everything about this poem was great!

The only two lines that didn't match the rest of the lines in syllable count were these two: "Another beat, this heart is weary. / Time to go, I see it clearly." but this did not detract from the poem as a whole. My only suggestions are miniscule, but I hope they will help a tiny bit. First, I'd suggest changing the third genre from "contest" to "contest entry" or even "emotional." And second, I'm assuming the cover image is the one that inspired this piece? Is it possible to include the image in the item itself instead of only in the cover image? Also, about the image, I believe it would make more sense if it was flipped horizontally with the flatline on the right hand side of the image rather than the left.

Thank you very much for sharing your writing! And again, Happy account anniversary month!

Take care,
Emily

You responded to this review 09/10/2018 @ 4:27pm EDT

Upgraded Membership required to use macros.Create custom macros to insert text in this editor. [Beta] X   GIPHY Search   Send a reply... Include Gift Points