Hello, hello, once again Jellyfish in Morocco ! Just me swooping by with another review to celebrate your account anniversary month!

I really appreciate your thoughts on this and think you did a great job portraying the Earth's emotions. I work as an Environmental Educator, so seeing things like this give me a lot of ideas when it comes to making issues of pollution and environmental degradation real to people, especially children. Using a personification poem like this to help children get into the "head" of the Earth would probably be a very powerful way to instill in them a greater sense of duty. A+ job!

I only have one suggestion for you. I felt like the poem ended quite abruptly and perhaps would benefit from another stanza. I feel this way for a couple reasons. First, as a reader, most of the poem for me is happy and this drowns out the feeling of dread and despair you want the reader to feel from the final stanza. The punch line doesn't feel long enough or powerful enough. Perhaps adding one more stanza would give the reader that extra "oomph" feeling of: "oh dang... I have to do something." In my line of work, we do everything in our power to inspire people to take action. Which leads into the second reason I think another stanza is needed. Leaving people with a little bit of hope or an action they can take to make things "right" again, is more likely to inspire people to make a behavior change in their lives. If you could work that feeling into the final stanza, that would making this poem perfect, IMHO

Your rhymes in this poem are lovely, and you had several really good pairings, but I think my favorite is this one: "You do not wear another’s pelt / Nor cause my frozen caps to melt."

Thank you once again for sharing your writing!

Take care,
Emily

You responded to this review 09/10/2018 @ 4:12pm EDT

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