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Review #4436908
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Review by Emily Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: XGC | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Gaea Author Icon - So, I'm a little confused because the chapter before this one called "Chapter 7" doesn't seem to be related to this story at all. I skimmed it, but ended up skipping ahead to this chapter instead, so I guess I'm continuing my reviews from chapter 8 (but maybe this is actually chapter 7?). Let me know if I should have read the previous entry and I'll go back. Anyway, on to this chapter!

*StarB* Ok, so Melinda (Star) may be related to that previous chapter in some way, but I think you lost me as to why ... Maybe I'll wait for you to get back to me about this before I continue reading. The previous chapter seemed so different with nothing I recognized and no names I recognized, that I assumed it was a mistake. Maybe, it is is meant to be a chapter, you could say something like " Meanwhile, in ________" or change the font so I know it's intentional, that might help.

*StarG* Only two little typos I found this time:

fifteen-yr. old runaway - should be fifteen year old.

cheeseburger; fries and a strawberry shake cheeseburger, fries, and a strawberry shake

*StarB* I wondered why Carol was suddenly texting Lisa so much if there was something she was clearly hiding. And the odd invoice and new characters is another mystery as well. I'm still wondering what happened with the brick through the window too. That creepy guy on the phone is still such a mystery! Many mysteries in this story ...

Take care! (PS, this is my 300th Public Review! *Shock2* *Proud*)
-Emily

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