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Given: Oct 17, 2018 at 5:12pm
Length: 929 Characters |
834 w/o WritingML
Wow! Very powerful emotional and psychological impact in this short story. You really made me to feel her emotions and they certainly penetrated through my consciousness. I liked your approach to making the human subconscious individualized, a personal "territory" to each distinct individual, rather than the "collective unconscious" postulated by Carl Jung. I also admired the visuals and the other sensory imagery, especially for example, the different ways in which you anthropomorphiase her tears.
There was one instance of "plead" that I think should be "pled," past tense, and her curse of "I hate you" should have a period ("I hate you." or exclamation point, of course!)
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