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Given: Oct 29, 2018 at 3:13pm
Length: 875 Characters |
780 w/o WritingML
Wow! You definitely paint a really SCARY painting here, with lots and lots of sensory imagery touching on several sense impressions (and not prettily, may I add) but nevertheless, to immense effect. About midway, I began to consider the Narrator in terms of something (someone) similar to the Witch of Hansel and Gretel. Alternatively, I guess we could look at the poem as the output of a psychotic individual, particularly one that targets young persons, because certainly that kind of mind would be maggoty and dank and frightening. Either way, I much enjoyed reading the poem and marveling at your deft use of imagery.
I would suggest only removing the apostrophe in "boy's" and "toy's" at the end of the first two lines.
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