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Review #4464435
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Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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*RainbowL* Just a reminder I am here to review and give suggestions. Any of which are my opinion and you can use them or not. Both are given with reverence for your style of writing and hope to help not just you but myself as well. If you have any questions about the review or suggestions don't be afraid to reply, email, or IM me in response. We are all learning to be better writers, including myself. *Smile*


*Leaf2g* Good Points:
A great start for the first vignette. (Percy suggested if we review we do it via email or this method) Anyway, I love the first two paragraphs, a good eye catcher for the reader.

*Leaf2r* Grammatical Problems & Suggestions
There are a lot of little grammatical errors throughout the vignette. In one place which should say "rumors," you wrote "roomers". And there are several other small errors which slowed down my reading. Just remember to either re-read to check for those errors or use a spell checking program like Grammarly.

*Leaf2o* Overall Characterization and World View:
I love the characters you've chosen to write about. I get a real sense of who she is and what she wants to do with her life. She's definitely driven to do one thing and she enjoys it so much she'd want nothing else in life. The world view was also well laid out.

*Yinyang* Last but not Least:*BigSmile*
Just remember the suggestions and remember I really enjoyed this first view of your character. I can't wait to read your next vignette next week.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Elfin Dragon ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** https://elfindragonlisag.blog

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 01/25/2019 @ 9:54pm EST
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