Hello,

My name is Mastiff and I'll be reviewing your piece. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble, and realize I make just as many mistakes as anyone else. Thank you for sharing your writing, and I hope this is helpful!

Title: The main title gives little away, and that could be your intent. The sub-title might give a little too much. Oh, it also ends with a preposition.

Initial Reaction: I'm not a huge sci-fi guy, but I have written a piece or two. I assumed something interesting was going to happen! I liked the computer language. It worked very well.

Setting: I loved the computer language. It added to the story.

Character Development: At times I wondered who was who... maybe me, but it's as good a thing to look at as any. Are your characters well defined enough to be memorable?

Plot: It was fun and engaging. You kept my interest, and that's good. It was a fun read to the end.

Ending: All the way back. Again, it interested me.

Line-by-line and Suggestions:

Para. 1 Ln. 1 - unauthorized
Para. 2 Ln. 2 - Dr needs a period. A couple times.
Para. 6 Ln. 1 - Who agreed to what?
Para. 14 Ln. 1 - Ending with a preposition

"I turned to see the machine, sat in the middle" Sitting.

Overall - Fun story! I enjoyed the read.

Happy Writing!

Mastiff