Hello A.K. Thorn ,

I just read your short story "Sam" , which I found when searching mental health genres for "Invalid Item"  and wanted to share my personal thoughts with you.

Disclaimer: Please remember that the following suggestions are based off of my own opinion and personal interpretation of your work. Feel free to take and/or toss out any of my suggestions.



I really enjoyed this piece. The psychological aspects and following the clues. I felt like I knew what happened but despite that, it was really fun to come to the conclusion through your words.




You pulled me in with the first line. Immediately I wanted to know what significance it had that it was affecting Bill's dreams.

I was not disappointed. You didn't give it up too soon and built up to it wonderfully. Expert story building done here.




You built wonderful characters here, especially Bill with whom we experience the story with. He truly struggled to stick to his moral beliefs and stay true to his wife. He really loved her and you could feel that throughout the story.

Even Veronica had depth and character. Great job.




I think the plot was done wonderfully. You left us in the dark about what was truly going on until the last moment. But you left bread crumbs for us and for your main character as he went through this with a warped mind.

Despite having my suspicions about where the story was going you still managed to suprise me with originality and good twists. This is very well built and presented.




Your dialogue is very natural and believable. Each character has their own voice and is unique. You were able to add depth to your characters using wonderful dialogue that didn't feel forced or displaced.




You handled the climax wonderfully, following through with his obvious mental illness all the way through to the end. You added some fun and shocking twists to the climax that made this story feel new and exciting.




Wonderful job creating a great psychological story with deep characters. This is awesome story writing. Keep on Writing!

I enjoyed reading your work and hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .