Reviewing this as a fellow participant in "I Write in 2019"  [E]

First impression: Mostly good imagery, but could use a more readable formatting. Part of this was having to put the prompt phrases in bold, which is unavoidable until the contest closes, but maybe keep that in mind for after the contest.

Suggestions: Might be a more powerful poem if it used more concrete images. For example, instead of "bright cheerful colors," maybe describe a color and how someone might react to it. As this appears to be a free-verse poem, there's room for that sort of thing.

Additionally, the last line, while providing good contrast to the idyllic nature of the rest of the poem, could also use more specific images. Like, instead of saying "allergies," you could describe someone sneezing or blowing their nose.

Overall: I liked the part with the bees, and the overall scene it sets. Keep it up!

You responded to this review 04/02/2019 @ 9:59pm EDT

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