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Review #4483755
Viewing a review of:
 Mausoleum of The Bab Open in new Window. [E]
The Queen of Carmel
by Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon
Review by Choconut Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon

I am reviewing this on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.. It is also part of "I Write in 2019" Open in new Window..

Please remember these views are purely my own and any advice given is with the sole intention of being helpful.

First Impressions: Firstly, what a lovely song, and what a beautiful building. After listening to the song, I think your poem fits perfectly. It's a pleasure to read and has a wonderful rhythm that makes it sound a little like a song, in itself.

Voice/Tone: The voice is emotional. It is filled with love and awe, and your faith comes clearly across in it. I love how you compare this fantastic building to a woman. You refer to it as "She" which makes sense because her name is 'The Queen of Carmel.'

Mechanics: This poem is free verse, although there are some end-of-line rhymes. These work so well, adding to the fantastic rhythm.

My Favourite Part: The last verse is fabulous! I love, "Robed in white, / she beckons / to humanity." That description of "robed in white," in particular, is great. It sounds regal and flowing, and it suits the grandeur of the building. I also love your description of her as being "surrounded by verdant gardens." It sounds lush and pretty. Also, it is peaceful.

I have no suggestions for this poem, Neva. I think it's absolutely beautiful. It's great to see the strength of your faith, and you have written a great tribute to an important place. Great writing!

Keep writing!

Choconut

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