Hi, Ellie !

I was amazed by your short story. I really loved it. It was very dark and quite hopeless at the end. Just the kind of thing I like, from time to time.

In terms of plot, it seems a little ambiguous. You do have a clear ending - a very literal ending, if you will. But there is little to suggest why she would do that or what prompted her to. I know she's trapped in the manor and her eyes don't appear to have healed very well and she can't see but why is she trapped there? How did she lose her eyesight? What made her fall? Who is this master? What was that about the snow burning her? Was the dream really just a dream? Was there really a mountain? I guess some hint of her situation would have helped to answer some of these questions. I'm still new to short stories so maybe it's my own understanding which is a bit off, but there's so little information about her to go off of.

The writing style was easy to follow and understand. Elodie consistently comes across as downtrodden and with little hope, which is understandable if she's always alone in that place.

I liked the opening scene best, where she's dreaming and comes across the mountain. I was intrigued as the title mentions a blind girl and she didn't appear to be blind at that point. Her running wildly through the forest to make up for the winter in which she would be stuck indoors really gave her a sense of childlike abandon, although it stops being childlike when her legs start to ache and bleed. Her desperation is palpable.

What I don't get though is the fire. Is it just a fire in the hearth? Did she stumble across it? Is the smell of the smoke just getting to her? Does it trigger some trauma within her? Was she imagining the whole thing? The part where "the flames parted like the sea for her" suggests that it's in her mind, that she's just imagining it.

I encountered a few minor errors, but nothing a proofread won't fix. I'm puzzled as to the use of the word "carcass" in regards to her form when she's on the floor and the fire is getting to her. It's not a carcass when the person being burned is still alive, right?

All in all, a good read! I wish you all the best for your future projects!

Regards,
Shiki

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .