Hello!

Thanks for submitting this to the Review Challenge, and also for directing me to it as well.

This is another really sad piece, highlighting the drug abuse problem that plagues so many people here - and like it says in the item description, musicians in particular.

The one thing that I will say is that I think the first part of the poem is stronger than the second part of this poem, and might stand better on it's own. I know that's probably not getting the whole narrative that you wanted to tell in there, but the tone feels more consistent and the song theme comes in a lot stronger before it gets into all the talk about plans for the future and hiding from the piggies.

I would maybe end it right after here:



Or potentially break it up into two pieces? There just seemed to be a definite tone shift at that point.

All in all though, it was a great piece, and you shed some light on a serious issue. Thanks again!

Sincerely,

Cat


















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .