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 Review #4487132 |
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 Theme/Subject Matter: A look into ones' psyche who feels unattractive, ignored, and not taken seriously by her parents. A severe case of sibling rivalry on up through the college years. She is made to feel insecure and insignificant compared to her brother, by the way her parents demean her, especially when the two siblings are together in front of the parents.  Originality/Creativity: I respect how honest the author is being. I respect her honesty and bluntness. I don't think enough pieces are written about sibling rivalry, especially one that lasts till the college years. I'm sure others who suffer this will find comfort to read that they are truly not alone.  Emotion/Impact: This writing is very emotional. The author gets the pain that she is feeling across to the reader very strongly. It makes me mad that her parents have not tried to take her feelings seriously, and let it get so far that she feels that it's all because she's unattractive. Your parents are strongly responsible for this insecurity. Not you and how you now perceive yourself. Remember, personalities is truly what makes one attractive. It seems as you suffer from PTSD. I'd really love for you to see a professional, they can help you feel worthy and see the beautiful person you truly are. I don't know what would have happened to me without therapy during my life. My Suggestions: I'd like to know the age difference between you two.  When you don't stand out, you have to shout for people to hear what I have to say. You change point of view in this line. Since you have written the piece in first person, change this to first person as well: Since I fade into the background, I have to shout fight for people to hear what I have to say.  I became a workaholic at such a young age.Why is it so significant that my brother was a noisemaker? Start a new paragraph with the sentence beginning with, Why  He doesn't magically get everything taught to him as you do, you freaky witch! He's a human being that uses mental energy to learn, and with the mental energy he's putting forward, he's going to attend Harvard when he grows up!"Is this a true statement from your parents? Or does it go from the sentence before being what they spoke, and this starting with your sarcasm of how they treat and act toward you? If your parents do say that, I'm truly sorry. Leave it as is. If it's a statement by your parents, followed by your sarcasm, move the quotation marks to the last word before your remarks. Also, use { i} at the beginning of your remarks and { /i} at the end of your remarks, without the space. That will put the lines in italics to show it's your remarks. You can lose the numbers and just write it as a new paragraph. If you really want to make them bold statements, you can insert bullets. elephant in the room, my brother.Whenever I'm having a serious Start a new paragraph starting with the word, Whenever   I'd like to see you sit down and have a conversation with your parents to really make them see how they have made you feel all these years. The only way they will take you seriously is to talk beyond their maturity level: keep your voice calm and stable the whole time. Tell them that you just wanted them to know how you have felt all these years. If they don't say anything, or talk negatively, calmly get up and walk out of the room without another word. I guarantee that will make them concentrate on your words more than any yelling and blaming! I know it works, I did this with my mom and step-dad. One more thing, how does your brother act toward you during all these years? Did ya'll have a sibling relationship at all?  Thank you so much for being so honest and sharing this writing with us!  KEEP ON WRITING ON! IntueyNeed support?? Join the "Invalid Item"  group: "Invalid Item" ** Image ID #2188482 Unavailable **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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