Hi, Tinker !

          Overall +/- :
My thoughts on the piece as a whole...

         The sibilance you create with the repeated 's" sound is absolutely perfect for the subject of this poem! Nearly every other line is full to the brim of alliteration, too. Your way with words made this particularly enjoyable to read!

          Rhythm & Flow:
Whether freeverse or tightly-structured formal poetry, flow is paramount.

         I didn't run into any obstacles! This flowed smoothly. I'm not familiar with the subject of the poem, so I could be missing important allusions or symbolism!

          Language & Word Choice:
Because poetry is one of the briefer art forms, every word matters.

         Very nice! In one or two places, the word choice struck me as odd, but that could just be because I don't know much about the subject of the poem. On the other hand, your word choices are powerful and evocative and almost always smooth-flowing!

          Things I liked :
Sometimes phrases or lines jump off the page.

I will wind and wring the wind from your lungs AMAZING word choice.

I am as ancient as the most ancient,
cunning and capable Love the mystical feel of this.

          Suggestions:
Take them with a grain of salt.

My languid length laden / with strength and stamina — "laden" implies a burden, to my mind. I would expect to see it in a phrase like "laden with worry." However, the traits that follow are positive characteristics, not "burdens." To keep the fun alliteration going, you could always use something like "loaded [with]" or "lithe, [with]"

to sensually satiate my prey. — This could very well be thanks to the fact that I don't know too much about Kaa, but this description strikes me as rather sexual. If that's supposed to be the case, carry on!

stalking a succulent morsel
to satisfy my soul. — It's difficult to describe. On the one hand, I love the alliteration and how wonderfully it fits with the serpentine imagery you have going! On the other, it feels, to me, exaggerated somehow? I think it's only because, for whatever reason, "satisfy my soul" has a certain measure of melodrama. Then again, that could be perfectly in line with Kaa's character! These lines seemed a little bit at odds with the naked menace I felt from, I will wind and wring the wind from your lungs / and swallow you whole. The lines I highlighted above (indigo) put me in mind of a moustache-twirling, maniacally laughing villain. The latter lines (green) made me think of a silent killer, the stuff of nightmares. Perhaps Kaa is both!

          In Closing:
Any final thoughts...

         Please take any suggestions that are helpful and leave any that are not! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to enjoy your words!

Write On!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .