Hi, 🌑 Darleen - QoD !

          Overall +/- :
My thoughts on the piece as a whole...

         I'm glad I had the chance to read this as a fellow contestant in "I Write"! I enjoyed this 7/5 Trochee. I don't feel qualified to guess at the meaning—at first it seemed to be saying that the inevitabilities of darkness can't hold out in the face of true love, but as the poem went on, I got the impression that "attachment" or love was in fact a very bad thing. The first two lines gave me expectations opposite from what I got from the rest of the poem, so I was a bit confused! Still, my inability to grasp the meaning aside, it's a beautiful poem, and the second stanza is a lovely-wonderful gut-punch to the senses. (A good thing. Getting gut-punched by words is my favorite.) That last line, particularly, is just excellent!

          Rhythm & Flow:
Whether freeverse or tightly-structured formal poetry, flow is paramount.

         Very good! Two lines were not in trochaic meter: the senses within and by ties to the lies. That threw off the rhythm a bit, for me, but it was still an enjoyable poem with stunning imagery. I'm loving the internal rhyme with ties/lies and the rhyme with unbound / found (and that cool passing connection with "bonds.")

          Language & Word Choice:
Because poetry is one of the briefer art forms, every word matters.

         Very nice. I love the words overtakes and unbound.

          Things I liked :
Sometimes phrases or lines jump off the page.

Freedom from false bonds is found
when attachment dies. Gorgeous meter, deliciously painful content! I'm getting the impression that the complete abolition of love is the solution this poem proposes to failed loves and betrayal. And these lines really cinch it. Absolutely my favorite lines in the piece, hands down, and a powerful conclusion!

          Suggestions:
Take them with a grain of salt.

If it were possible, revising those two lines (mentioned above) so they're in trochaic meter might smooth out the flow!

          In Closing:
Any final thoughts...

         I love poems that lead me to dark places without laying on the melodrama too thick. The no-frills chilliness in the line, "when attachment dies" gives me great joy. Excellent work. Thank you for sharing, and...

Write On!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .