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Review by Dave
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Greetings, mylinda1rives!

Welcome to this wondrous writing community. The following observations are offered in belated, but still grateful, response to your Review of "My Gypsy Soul" and the generous gift of gps, but they are nothing more than the opinions of one person, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they may be worth.

TITLE:

Like the names of your children, a title gives the poem a specific identity. It is also a critical element of your composition, because it is the portal through which a prospective reader must pass to enter the realm of your imagination. It sets the tone and prepares the reader for what is to come. If that entrance does not spark some sort of interest, chances are he or she will move along to the next item, or maybe even the next author.

The title of this composition invites that browser to observe life in one of the rougher neighborhoods.

FORM & STRUCTURE:

In traditional poetry, the fixed shape of the meter, rhyme, and stanza creates an emotional distance which facilitates universal acceptance. The poet writing free verse must compensate for the lack of traditional structure by designing the title, line, stanza, and rhythm to provide the greatest impact in an efficient manner. Otherwise, the poem will be nothing more than prose in disguise. Careful design of the word selection and arrangement, the length and density of each line, and the breakdown of stanzas must provide a natural rhythm. That is, through much toil in search of precise language, experimentation with forming lines and stanzas, and extensive revision, the poet carefully crafts a work that appears natural, authentic, and convincing to the reader.

Although the single body of text seems to be in fashion these days, I believe you could help to control the pacing and sharpen the focus by dividing the composition into several stanzas. The stanza breaks would help to control the pacing and sharpen the focus, offering the reader an opportunity to absorb each impression more completely before moving along to the next.

The long, extended lines project a tone of leisurely reflection, which conflicts with the word pictures you are painting, in my humble opinion. You can learn more about the effects of line breaks in the following link: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/70144/learning-the-poetic-line .

IMAGERY:

Imagery is the lifeblood of a poem. Like a craftsman carving, molding, painting, and polishing wood, stone, clay, or some other material, the poet uses words to shape and paint pictures which present some lyrical impulse or spiritual truth. Rather than TELLING the audience about those feelings, the poet SHOWS the impressions through distinct images that project emotional overtones and associations with other images and events. In this way, the poet stirs an emotional response from the reader.

Your selection of specific details, such as "fire escape balcony grille" and "knotted sneakers hanging from telephone line," bring the grim circumstances home to your audience exquisitely.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

Composing poetry is a process of collecting and arranging various language components--some intentional and some accidental--over time. The words invade our consciousness and provoke a sensitivity to their interaction, as we flex our writing muscles. Practice does not always mean tedious work; in this case, it’s more like play. Poets begin by experimenting with words and phrases, just as a child becomes entranced by the various possible configurations possible with the sticks and spools in a box of TinkerToys. You have achieved the most important step in this process by capturing your thoughts on paper before they can fly away like fireflies in the night. In that effort, you have excavated a golden nugget from the depths of your imagination. Keep polishing this nugget to maximize the effects and transform it into the magnificent jewel it can be.

If you are interested in learning more about the craft of composing poetry, or merely chatting among like-minded wordsmiths, we would love to have you join our discussions in "The Poet's Place "  group.

Let the creativity flow from your soul! *Cool*
Dave
"The Poet's Place " 

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