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Review #4527760
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (3.5)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hi there, Earthworm Sally!
This isn’t bad. I used to enter this contest a lot so I know how hard it is to write a story using so few words. You can barely get a beginning started, let alone a middle and an ending!
Considering how young you are, I'm impressed! I think it's great that you have a passion for writing and I truly hope you stick with it! I just wish they had sites like this one when I was young; I've also been writing most of my life, but I never got serious about it until a few years ago when I was in my mid-40s! *Headbang* All those wasted years! Another *Headbang*
This is kind of dark, but as a lover/reader/writer and judge of horror, I love dark stories. The ending is a bit ambiguous though (open to more than one interpretation) since we're not sure why you owe 'a lot of money' or what happened to your head, but since this is FF, that's understandable because you could only fit so many words into it.
The spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!), but I did spot one tiny niggle:
‘He wants me to finish you off once and for all(.)” he says hurriedly. (speech tag niggle-should be a comma-I’ll leave you a link to a short article on speech tags if you’re interested)

https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html

Otherwise, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.
PSSS-I noticed you only have one Merit Badge so far. Click on My Account (on the left hand side) > Achievements, and then go back and check your email. You should have a few surprises waiting for you there! *Bigsmile* You only need to do this when you’ve reached certain ‘achievements’.

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PSSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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