Greetings, Bullfrog Romeo!

Welcome to our wondrous writing extravaganza. I saw your introduction on the "Noticing Newbies"  and wanted to offer a few observations in the interest of friendly hospitality and constructive support. Of course, they are nothing more than one person's opinions, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they may be worth.

TITLE:

Unless your name is Edgar Allan Poe, or that of some other famous poet, whose reputation is enough to attract a fawning audience, the title is one of the most important elements of any composition. It sets the tone and prepares the random reader for what is to come. If that entrance does not spark some sort of interest, chances are he or she will move along to the next item, or maybe even the next author.

In this case, the title assigned to this poem does not seem to have any relevance to the poem itself, nor does it carry any mysteriously alluring qualities to draw that browser into the realm of your imagination. Perhaps something like "The Ember" would arouse some sense of curiosity to entice prospective readers across the threshold.

FORM & STRUCTURE:

The single line produces a bunch of impressions all jumbled together. In poetry, careful design of the word selection and arrangement, the length and density of each line, and the breakdown of stanzas helps to control the pace, sharpen the focus, and generate a natural rhythm, as described and demonstrated in the following link: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/70144/learning-the-poetic-line .

IMAGERY:

The strong active verbs and distinct sensory details draw the reader into this experience very effectively.

PICKY COPY EDIT ITEM:

If you are referring to the color, "Ocre" should be spelled either "Ochre" or "Ocher." ( https://grammarist.com/spelling/ocher-ochre/ ).

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

You have achieved the most important step in this process by capturing your thoughts on paper before they can fly away like fireflies in the night. In that effort, you have excavated a golden nugget from the depths of your imagination. Keep polishing this nugget to maximize the effects and transform it into the magnificent jewel it can be. Write on!

If you are interested in learning more about the craft of composing poetry, or merely chatting among like-minded wordsmiths, we would love to have you join our discussions in "The Poet's Place "  group.

Let the creativity flow from your soul!
Dave
"The Poet's Place " 

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .