Hi, Shaara:


So, here we are, raiding ports, looking for manuscripts to read and review. Your Interview a Shetzun a Sci-Fi short story hit my inquisitive mind right off. I decided to spend time to pore into it and share with you my takeaway.

Here are some comments you might consider when you decide to revisit it for tightening and improvement. My observations and suggestions are enclosed in brackets and color-coded green.

Formatting/*Content
My perspective: In writing Sci-Fi Fiction, it might be helpful if the author sets a place and time where and when the story is taking place with distinctive characteristics of the actors to set them apart from normal human beings as we know. Some readers and reviewers, like me, cannot relate when inanimate objects or vegetation or nature start acting and talking like humans. For example:

What's a sperion juice? [You might want to give a little insight into what the characteristic of this juice is.]

What does a Shetzun perfect look like?

What are the characteristics of a Cremorian? A Shetzun?


As far as *Mechanics,*Syntax,*Punctuation,Spelling and other nitty-gritty grammar rules go, here are some snippets I cut and pasted that may need tweaking for clarity and readability:

over-come [overcome is one word]
up-coming [upcoming is one word]

Uses of Ellipsis
Here are two examples of the use of ellipsis I cut and pasted:
Did his interview go so badly . . . or is it because he was told he has gained his prize?
I can still . . .
Ellipses, also known as ellipsis points and suspension points, are punctuational device composed of a trio of spaced periods. (Always make sure that all three periods fit on a single line of text.) Ellipses have two important functions.

First, they are used in dialogue to indicate that a speaker has not brought an utterance to completion or to indicate that there are awkward pauses in the utterance.

The second use of the ellipses is to indicate that one or more words have been omitted from a direct quotation because the quoter considers them irrelevant to his or her purpose.

If you delete one or more words from the beginning of a quotation, you do not need to use ellipses – unless the document you are writing is unusually formal, in which case the blank space will separate the opening quotation mark from the first ellipsis period, but one blank space will follow the final ellipsis period.
If you delete one or more words from the end of a quotation positioned at the end of the hosting sentence, however, you need to use both a period and ellipses if the quoted matter has the status of a grammatically complete sentence. No blank space will precede the period.
If you are deleting one or more words from the end of a quotation that has the status of a grammatically complete sentence and that ends with a question mark or an exclamation point, position the terminal punctuation mark after the ellipses.

*Dialogue
Good employment of dialogue showing your characters interacting with each other. Dialogues put the reader in the head of the narrator, character, or author. Makes the story move to dazzle and sizzle and pop!

*Disclaimer
I hope my observations and suggestions can help you tighten some loose ends relating to the mechanics in writing. Keep in mind, though, that these are from one reader's point of view. As such, take it with a grain of salt. The decision to adopt or discard suggestions is your prerogative.

*Over-all take away
This is a good exercise in creativity and originality. You're definitely applying and exhibiting your writing talent in this exercise. Keep up the good work rolling. You're good at it.





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .