Hi bettysk!

I found your poem and it's my pleasure to send you a review.

VOICE, TONE, DICTION:

The voice is first person which gives it a nice touch. The tone is pensive, reflective and a melancholy at times. The diction was great.

SOUND PATTERNS:

There was a subtle rhyming scheme of ABABCC. I say subtle because it wasn't overpowering and awkward. It actually sounded quite natural.

IMAGERY:

A heart pounding, waiting, emotions, best friends, the ocean, sleeping, and being awake. There was a rich mix of diverse imagery here! Well done.

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION:

The line breaks are a little stiff but they work, and the meter doesn't follow a pattern, but again I feel like it works for the most part.

ERRORS:

None found.

SUGGESTIONS:

I would break up the third stanza into two lines instead of one long line, at "you sleep" so that line is its own line. Then in the final stanza, I would make "I just can't" its own line as well, to break it up from the beginning of that line.

FAVORITE LINES:

"I just can't keep on with love that we don't make."

WOW! That packed so much punch and I felt all of it!

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

This was a concise poem but riddled with sentiment and hidden meanings in almost every line. I got so much out of it and I definitely related as I've been through a similar experience. This was a great piece of writing and I'm so glad I read it!

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing!