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Review #4533402
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (3.5)
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Hi there, Rainboro.
This isn’t bad for a flash fiction piece. The idea of this witch being captured by witch haters (or at least who despise magic) is original, at least for me, and I like how you made Rachael the ‘good guy’. Having her mother give her that watch was good plot device, too.
Comments and suggestions:
I like that name, ‘A.W.E., Against Witchcraft Everywhere’.
‘the panel of irwish fell away(,) leaving a(n) opening.’
‘saw that everywhere the light touched, the irwish caused a spiderweb of cracks’ (I don’t think you meant the irwish caused the cracks--the light did, right? I’d suggest ‘...the light touched in the irwish, it caused a spiderweb of cracks.’)
Also, I’m not sure why Rachael grabbed that square of irwish and stuffed it in her pocket. I think you could do without that sentence.
Otherwise, good job. Nice use of the prompt words.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Rainbro, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
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PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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