Hi lizco252isback!

I found your poem on the Read a Newbie page and it's my honor to send you a review today.

VOICE, TONE, DICTION:

The voice is first person, which suits the content, and the tone is somber, reflective and at times indignant. The diction was powerful!

LINE STRUCTURE: LINE BREAKS, METER, REPETITION:

The short, clipped lines work well with the subject of the poem, and the meter flows well. There was no obvious repetition that I could find.

SUGGESTIONS:

This is totally a matter of style, and personal preference, but there are a few lines that I would definitely use punctuation on, such as a question mark after "Who are you" and "Who were you", and dashes after "Over a balcony". I used to never use punctuation in my poetry, and now I use it often because it just seems to add a little more meaning, when used wisely. Although the lack of punctuation here could be a purposeful reflection of the confused mood of the writer, which definitely works in its own right. Either way, I like it!

FAVORITE LINES:

"We erased you"

So powerful!

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

There was rich imagery in this piece. There's a lot of hurt and anger in the narrator's words directed at the deceased mother, and I understand that hurt and anger. The stanzas were powerful and the emotion was felt in every line. I especially liked the final two lines as standalone stanzas. That packed a lot of punch. You have a natural gift for writing and I look forward to exploring more of your work.

Thanks for sharing your talent with us, and keep writing!