Dear SailorMoon303 – Welcome to Writing.com. I am glad you are a part of this amazing writing community now. I enjoyed reading "Untitled Book"  and I am glad to offer my review of your first story.
 
  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
The reader is drawn into the mad drama of a world reshaped by the effects of a deadly virus. As the protagonist begins to explore the borders of what has happened to her immediate world, she discovers that the world beyond her immediate sphere has been depopulated, vacated and left to rot. There are moments when the revelations are so detailed that I shiver with each knew discovery.
 
  THEME
 
It is the end of the world! Well almost. J is apparently the last survivor of an “outbreak” that not only has taken lives, but has also sequestered the dead into oblivion. The theme seems to me that should one person survive a great deportation from life of others, how will they cope in the “new world”.
 
  STRUCTURE
 
Your story is written in the present tense and that works well as we, your readers get to discover right along with the protagonist, the weird world that has suddenly taken shape from a holocaust. It is a spooky ride to say the least. There is a high level of description, which is great for the reader as we begin to get to a place of high-alert with the main character of the story.

 
  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
The images, scenes and actions are wonderful and my favorite moment was:

“I've always had the absolute best intuition. Not to be confused with the constant need to be right either. It's more like I've gotten myself into some situations knowing someone else was wrong when my intuition was right. Not me. I'm rarely right nor do I try to be. Just makes my world a whole lot easier. “

This bit of self-insight given to us at the beginning of J’s journey is colossal. It is a thought I have never had about my own intuitions, but is so absolutely spot on I had to laugh out loud!
 
 
  SUGGESTIONS
 
Everything about your story is powerful. I love the detail you use in each scene and the tone and energy add to the mounting dread that must accompany the immediate revelations.

My one suggestion would be to check your story “ratings.” I think some of the language used would definitely put your story rating to at least and “ASR”. The intro rating is okay.

As you get familiar with the quirkiness of the B-Item format, you’ll want to put some “hard carriage returns” between your paragraph breaks. When reading on WDC the white space can literally disappear. Changing fonts and size and adding more white space by line breaks between the paragraphs will help your older online reading audience a lot.


  IN SUMMARY
 
"Untitled Book"  takes the reader personally into a world where people have seemingly disappeared. What the protagonist discovers is that there has to be more to the story, but hey – let’s eat steak first! I love it!!
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

♫~ Kenword~♫
 

You responded to this review 03/22/2020 @ 5:59pm EDT

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