Cherish Now [E] Cherish Now, Remember Later |
Greetings, Fyn! I am reviewing this because it came up in Random Reviews and it looked like something I might connect to. First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. What I Liked I instantly connected to this! Wow, I could've written something similar, myself, though not nearly as in depth. This is great! Your opening lines intrigued me: Angry. I want to spit blood in the faces of brain-dead people I think my favorite is: empty words through toothy smiles. You have so much to say and I agree with every bit of it! You've written a great message. Suggestions to Consider In Stanza 1: and her Great-aunt and her great-aunt In Stanza 2: relying instead up his poor relying instead on his poor} Final Thoughts I'm thinkin your were on a mission when you wrote this... perhaps recently having experienced such relatives or a dearly departed loved one another only pretended to care about. I've seen these people. I probably know such people. It's sad and sickening, indeed. I loved all your great advice on things like: laughing heartily at the story of when Grandpa Whomever did that what-ever-it-was and who will laugh the same at the umpteenth telling as they did when it happened. A truly great and wonderful piece of writing, Fyn! Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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