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runoffscribe's O N S I am not one to sharply criticize style in memoir. The voice of the writer gives the memoir its distinct character. Still, it is an assertive act to commit oneself to print, especially in one's proper person. "Well" is a waffling word, best saved for those passages that take the reader into the winding ways of a complex story. I like the second paragraph much better. It is simple, direct and formatted well. Man of few interviews Cormac McCarthy called the semi-colon "idiotic". My opinion is less harsh. I believe it belongs with the bulleted list, the square paragraph and the colon. These are formalisms best suited to business and factual text. I urgently suggest that the the third sentence be recast, not in terms of a potential lawsuit, but as out of respect for the privacy of actual persons. The word "rue" means literally the sadness of regret. There is a powerful element of foreshadowing in this factoid. I call it a factoid because the writer has already declared that aliases are the rule of the narrative. And so, any name in the memoir is a fact in context, but not outside of the narrative. Further, christening the father character innocently "Peter" creates the implication that Rue is the focus of the writer's troubles. Until it is resolved, this implication will lend suspense to the telling. A last detail. It is inappropriate for a writer to apologize for intent. It just sounds sarcastic. Because this is a memoir, I will resist my usual impulse to "slick up" the writing. I say again, the writer's true voice is of the essence. Beyond assertiveness, it is an act of courage to write frankly of trauma in childhood. It is an act of faith to read and accept that this frankness is needful. Live long and publish, laurafu. For notes on formatting, spelling and punctuation: "Note: I have begun to write boilerplate language in..."
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