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 Review #4573822 |
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| (5.0)   “Those patient Hufflepuffs are true and unafraid of toil.” ― J.K. Rowling Greetings, Elfin Dragon-finally published! I am reviewing this because I am part of the "Harry Potter and the Writers' Spell " Group and a proud member of the Hufflepuff team!  My ultimate goal is to tell you what worked for me, suggest improvements for your personal consideration, and give you my overall view on your item.  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. Visually appealing The set up is simple, double-spaced where many members single-space, and then triple-spaced between stanzas. It works very well and there's no need to strain the eyes at all! I'm actually impressed by the appearance of this and just might consider using this layout for myself in the near future!  Easy to understand Like I mentioned above, the double-space works well for the eyes, but it also adds to the tone of this piece, and gives the reader time to process each line and digest it. Did the theme or topic interest me? Yes, it actually did! I loved how you narrated this piece through the dragon's POV. Because of this, it became more personal and heartfelt.Were the characters believable? Most definitely! I can still hear the dragon's voice, feel his presence in the midst, and grasp his hopelessness. Did your words flow naturally? Oh my goodness, yes! You are a natural storyteller!How did the writing make me feel? Did it invoke any emotions? Yes, I felt sad for the dragon, invisible and silent; though a legend, he is now forgotten and alone. It brings me back to my childhood and all the things I had imagined and hoped were real, and how magical it was to believe in those things. Then we grow up and leave our fantasies behind, replaced by reality. That's what's so great about writing... We can imagine whatever we want to and make it come to life! Your dragon is very real.Can I relate to this? Yes, and I see it in my grandkids as they grow one year older each year. It's hard to watch their childhood pass them by. It also makes me think about the Netflix series, Merlin. I loved that show! I wish they'd make more similar to it. The dragon was an impressive character, indeed. Ugh. I miss that show, except I didn't care for the ending.  Is there anything I would change within the writing? Mostly, no. I love what you've done with this. There is, however, one line you might want to consider, if you choose, to change. It's not a typo or anything like that, just something to consider in Line 2: I move in silent vigil upon the winds of time. Perhaps I move in silent vigil upon the wings of time. I was thinking wings instead of winds only because it sort of represents the dragon. But it's neither right or wrong, just something to think about. What did I like most? What stood out? I loved the dragon's voice. Have you thought about writing a story about this? He seems like such a great character that would stick to anyone's imagination and become real, if only in a tale.  Why can't dragons and unicorns be real??? On a brighter note, we as writers can keep these creatures alive as best we can. You've written a fantastic piece here... one that will stick with me for a long time.Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/29/2020 @ 2:09pm EDT