The Tiny Buddha [E] Tickle my belly, it shall be given. |
"Harry Potter and the Writers' Spell " sent me out to find some of the best fantasy poems out there. So, I brought along my trusty rat (who I am almost 90% sure is actually a rat) and hopped on the Knight bus, for a terrific and exhilarating tour of WDC. My magical tour led me straight to this beautiful poem. The description caught my attention. Belly rubs do not normally lead to great things in my world, but that might just be because I have a rat for a pet/familiar. Anyway, I was hooked, and the first line did not disappoint. You set the scene by bringing a scent to mind. A scent of all things! This is not done very often, and I found myself smiling as I read along. You then quickly established the scene, we now know it’s Jim’s birthday and that he is a man of great taste, who enjoys coffee and regards it as the nectar of the Gods that it is (I am paraphrasing, of course, but I am sure Jim would agree). I enjoyed how Jim was described, he seemed carefree, and you did a great job of giving us a glimpse of his personality before the action started, with these lines: Comfortable in his skin, Jim drifted, Loose, he settled into his day off work, He smiled as a gentle breeze was gifted, That is a great setup and the feeling it evokes is perfectly juxtaposed with the next few lines and the mounting action. While the choice of the word “berserk” struck me as a slight exaggeration for a ringing phone. I feel like it captured the feel of the next few lines, with everything literally going berserk. I found myself wondering about the breathing on the phone, but that question quickly faded from my mind as the Buddha arrived. And then I truly enjoyed how Jim kept asking for more and more, from fried chicken up to mansions. Our loose and smiley Jim was slowly being overcome by greed. Endless possibilities literally at his fingertips. It made sense that he’d be lulled into a sense of security, that he’d feel that there is nothing that his friend wouldn’t grant him, and that he’d ask for this one ask that we’d all ask if we were in his position (this is me being articulate). And Boom! It took me a second to figure out what happened, and I am not sure if I get it. It’s either that his greed cost him all the wishes he’d been granted, or that it was all a dream. I don’t mind the marginally open ending though; it adds to the intrigue. But I do hope that it was not all a dream because that ending has become too much of a cliché. Overall, this poem has a very nice flow to it with a very consistent and cleverly observed rhyming scheme. The only lines that interrupted the flow for me were these: There on the table, in a lined basket, Was fried chicken like his mother had made, The Buddha gave Jim just what was asked it Jim now knew he had it made in the shade. The last line felt a bit clunky, and the dual use of “made” was noticeable. Instead, I would suggest maybe: “Jim now knew the gifts would cascade.” Other than that, this was a true pleasure to read, beautifully written, great word choices, and a magical story to boot. Thank you for a great read! All the best, Red,
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