Hi Let's have a sox to sox talk -

This is a review for part 3 of

FORUM

The Lodestar Contest  (13+) Looking for a guiding light. May 2024 round is open, looking for short stories. #2130938 by Satuawany

Please keep in mind these are just my opinions and they carry only the weight you give them!

Overall Impression: A great use of the prompt! Poor John, that's a long time to be alone!

Spelling/Grammar: I found only one spelling/grammar error for you to consider:

1. In this section - the cultures they base had in stock - you may want to change "they" to "the".

Readability: A great first draft, an easy and enjoyable read.

Suggestions: My only suggestion would be to find one or two synonyms for "hallucination" so that "hallucination" isn't so repetitive throughout the story.

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina




Your work was rated using the guidelines from:

Comment-In-A-Box  (E) My view on and methods of rating items on Writing.Com. #544247 by The StoryMistress

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .